Do You Know What You Want? Try These Three Questions

I've tried to add a little bit of writing or journaling to my mornings. Sometimes I go all in and others not so much. The writing can be anything from a Brain Dump (one of my favourites) to a list of things I need to do, am happy about, am thankful for, goals, random ideas, or responses to my own questions and prompts. It is, obviously, a lot of different things at different times, sometimes with no rhyme or reason. Period.I have talked about journaling off and on for the past few years, and it's something I'm trying to actually gauge as to how it can helps one move forward. IF this is getting a little too woo woo for you, give me just a minute. As you may know, I'm always my own guinea pig, and typically test on myself so I can then share my own experience, good, bad or indifferent.All this brings me to a morning last week.As I sat in my chair, with my morning coffee, and my ever present dogs sitting with me, I thought of what I want. Do you ask yourself that question? We all have things we want, right? But sometime that simple question can be a little daunting. It can be especially so if things in your life have changed, like maybe from a global pandemic, or other life events such as becoming an empty nester, weathering a relationship breakup, caring for aging parents, death, divorce, and so many other events that come our way.For a really long time, and for what feels like most of my adult life, my recurring theme has been to say I that I simply want peace. ( I said this so often that I have some fabulous peace Christmas ornaments, books, notes and a wonderful outdoor lighted Peace sign). So, let me just say that this was not just some pat answer or trite saying. I truly wanted to feel at peace and have peaceful surroundings. If you happen to be a mom to multiple children, especially boys, and especially three boys, then you might get where I am coming from.We had a share of chaos in our home, some normal because that's what three little boys running around bring, and then some brought on by other forces. Either way, I always felt that if I could have some "outer order" I would also have "inner calm" as Gretchen Rubin says.I have learned that peace can bring and mean different things at different stages of my life. The peace I strive for now is quite different from the peace I craved when I was surrounded by my three boys all underfoot or later running ragged from every practice, sporting and school event crammed into each week. As I think about the type of peace I look for now in this Season of life I began thinking about how the things we all want will change as times change and as we enter new seasons.I have found in my own life, and in working with some women, that sometimes when things change in our lives, we find ourselves not sure of what we really want. That's totally okay. And for the purpose of this post, it is definitely okay. You may not know for sure what you want, but I bet you can think of how you want to feel.So, last week, as I sat in my chair with my little notebook open ready to write, without a plan, I asked three questions. I'm going to give them to you and hope you'll try this. If you do, there is one rule. You cannot stew over it. Give yourself about five to seven minutes. No longer. When you begin to answer each question, do not think. Simply write.Find a quiet spot and just begin with writing down this first question. 1. What do I want? This could be a very open-ended question or it can be a question just for that day. On a particular day, any Wednesday in the middle of the week, what do you want?(Some of my responses have been peace, comfort, security, experiences, fun, purpose. . . .)If you struggle with this question, then ask a different question, which sometimes may be easier to answer.Go to the second question.2. How do you want to feel?This can change from day to day, week to week, and with any new season.There can be a range of things. (Some examples of mine are peaceful, motivated, energized, confident, content, challenged, appreciated, free, flexible. . . .)From here, follow up with the next question. Just allow yourself to free flow write the first things that come to mind. No one is listening, watching or going to read it. There will be no questioning or judgment. Try NOT to allow yourself to think, plan your answer or wonder what is appropriate. It may feel awkward at first. But keep practicing and soon your thoughts and ideas will come naturally. And they may surprise you.What do you choose for this point in time? What is it you want or how do you want to feel on this particular day?That brings you to the third question.3. What makes/gives you __________ ?Again, take a second, maybe close your eyes, and then let thoughts, experiences, your own passions and purposes come. There may be one or two things that bring you (whatever it is) or there may be many that can bring that want or feeling.(Going with my example of peace, I let my mind release the things that brought me peace. So, on that day, my list included things like, my quiet time, a blue sky, being outdoors, water, sun, when my boys are in a good place, being creative, friendships. . . .)Again, you may have some surprises, some things you have forgotten, some things you have not admitted or perhaps have been afraid to say out loud. Or you may have a common theme relating back to what you want at that time.You have probably seen that meme that has been around for some time. It tells you to "go do that". I think it is a bit overdone, but a little bit of my message here. Looking at your responses to the last question, What makes/gives you "whatever it is" -What is on your list that you can do today or incorporate into your week to give you that?To bring you what you actually want or help you feel the way you want to feel?Even if it's a tiny little thing. Try it. Make it a priority.I hope you try this little exercise. If you are feeling a bit stuck, out of sorts, or know someone who is, I hope you share it.These are the types of steps we talk about in my 1:1 Coaching. If you would like to know more contact me Here. And let me know if you like this sort of content and my sharing these little steps.Hope you have a great week!